I have the privilege of hosting a weekly live call-in radio show that airs nationwide (GRACEfm.com). For one hour a day, I answer Bible questions and pray with wonderful people from all walks of life across the country. It’s a joy to step into people’s lives and help them along their spiritual journey. Because it’s pastoral-minded, live, and daily, you never know what type of calls you’ll receive. Sometimes, the show is fast-paced, while at other times, one call fills most of the show.
Yesterday, a sister in the Lord, Candi, called wrestling with the grief of her son’s sudden death in a car accident a year ago. Her grief is fresh. It’s raw. Burying a son is not normal. It wrecks you. Complicating her grief are many thoughts, regrets, and fears. She was especially concerned and troubled about his eternal future. She was uncertain, which, in the twisted, anguished grief, only made her life more miserable, if that is possible. In this fallen world, it is. I couldn’t assure her about her son, but I could meet her where she is and assure her of a fair, righteous, and truthful God. She could trust Him. She can cry out to Him. She can rest in Him.
Psalm 30:8 (NKJV) “I cried out to You, O Lord; And to the Lord I made supplication:”
Then, we shared stories. Her son’s name is Eddie, and my son’s name is Eddie. Her Eddie was a rebel his whole life, albeit a loving rebel. Candi shared how his birth was scary and complicated but how he brought so much love and joy into her life, even in the pain.
My son is also named Eddie. He was a little different from Candi’s son. Our Eddie was gentle and sweet his entire life until he was older, and then he was a strong, sweet one. Sharing that story stirred up in me a holy desire, a wonder. I often wonder, and I do mean often, how our precious grandson Levi expresses Eddie’s personality and reflects his presence. He carries his daddy’s legacy well in temperament and joy. You can take away many things from us, but the intrinsic God-given DNA bloodline isn’t one of them. One day soon, we will find out. I’m sure of it.
Sharing stories is always helpful. Memories are a gift from our loving Father, who wants us to know He loves us and is with us in our grief. When you share a story about life with your loved one, the smiles and joys give an immediate burst of encouragement.
Psalm 55:22 (NKJV): “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.”
The deal I made with her was that after she shared a story, I would share one, too. I shared how God used Eddie to keep two lost teenagers connected long enough for God’s eternal work to bring them to Himself to take place. What a gift that guy is to us!
Memories cut both ways, don’t they?
Yes. Yes, they do.
On the one hand, grief memories stir up happiness and smiles. On the other hand, grief memories tend to remind us of the pain of loss. It’s almost like we can’t win. We want to remember the good. We don’t want to be refreshed in the bad. Oh, but God! He is faithful to meet us in the good times and the sad.
That happened to me on this call with our sister in the Lord Candi. I was blessed to hear her story and sense the brief happiness it brought her. You could literally feel the atmosphere change over the radio airwaves. The mood lightened up a bit, and joy filled the air. Yet, at the same time, the floodgate of my own grief memories opened up wide. That’s the risk you take when you go there. It was okay. I am willing to face the memories, even those memories that lead to the pain I feel daily. It’s okay. God is a healer. He is faithful.
Exodus 15:26b (NKJV) “…For I am the Lord who heals you.”
Don’t be afraid of the memories in your grief friend. Face them. Enjoy them. Cry over them. Share them.
Grief memories cut both ways, yes. But oh, how God uses them to draw us ever closer to Him.
“Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.” — Jesus (Matthew 5:4 (NKJV))
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#onedaylittleguy
