“That person is not good for you.”
Remember this phrase as you recall the friends you’ve lost over the years.
God created us to have friends, share life, and enjoy relationships on the familiar (phileo) level. Some friendships are casual, while other friendships are deep and long-lasting. While it’s wonderful to have friends, it can be challenging to lose them. As we celebrated 25 years of living in Colorado and pastoring the precious fellowship here, looking out at the full sanctuary of beautiful people, I couldn’t help but remember key and powerful friendships I have had over the years that don’t exist anymore. Ministry partnerships done. Friendships gone. It stinks.
Proverbs 17:17 (NKJV) “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”
Have you ever lost a friend? It can be a challenging soul-searching experience. Throughout the Bible, friendships are broken. Paul and Barnabas didn’t make it. Jesus and his disciples separated for a time. Demas forsook Paul later in life. The list goes on and on. Losing a friend isn’t all your fault. It happens all the time.
2 Timothy 4:10 (NKJV) “for Demas has forsaken me, having loved this present world, and has departed for Thessalonica—Crescens for Galatia, Titus for Dalmatia.”
When friendships end, it affects your emotions, habits, and even the core of your being. Real grieving takes place when friends are no longer friends. Not only do you suffer, but your kids will suffer too, as their friends suddenly disappear, and they don’t have a clue why. If you’re not careful, you can become very jaded and cynical, affecting your future relationships.
I look back to the time surrounding my son Eddie’s death. We learned a couple of valuable lessons in the pain. First, we learned who our true friends were. That was glorious and beautiful. Unfortunately, we also learned about men and women who we thought were our friends but were actually not true friends after all, including a few men who hold the office of “pastor.” Yes, in the throws of deep grief, we lost a lot of friends. Men and women who we “did life with” and went to spiritual battles alongside decided, for whatever reasons, to move on from our lives. There were even a few that we had to make that decision ourselves. It was, and can still be, hard to remember that tearing, difficult season, but the Lord is faithful! He is my friend.
Romans 8:28 (NKJV) “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
If you’re in the place of responding to a painful relationship breakup, I want you to consider these three truths:
- Some relationships are for seasons. Like the seasons come and go, so do friends in and through our lives. We get to enjoy for a season, but then life moves on, and so do we.
- Some relationships are for them more than for you. Remember that as much as you have enjoyed the friendship, it could have just been a time for the other person to grow and learn something from you. God was using you for His purposes in someone else’s life. It’s painful to see it end, but it’s a joy to know that God is using you greatly.
- God is speaking to you. When a friendship ends, God says, “That person is not good for you.” Don’t think that person is not good (although possible) or that you’re not good (although there may be things for you to work on); instead, think that together, God is removing that person from your life for His divine purposes! Move forward with confidence!
I’m sorry your friendship circle is changing. Yes, it stinks and can be painful. But God heals and helps us move forward into everything He desires to do in and through our lives! Go forward with confidence in Him. Father knows best.
Only Jesus is the friend in your life who has promised never to leave or forsake you. He keeps His promises!
Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV) “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
10 Bible Verses About Friends Failing You
10 Bible Verses About Friendship
