Pastor, be a person people can trust.
This seems to be an obvious truth, but even when things are obvious, we need to address them. One of the most important qualities in ministry is confidentiality. When someone shares something personal with you, they’re entrusting you with part of their life. Often, the part they share is precious and private. If you repeat that to others, you’ve broken something that’s hard to repair. You will lose their trust, and with it, your spiritual influence in their life. Whether it is deep or not, confidentiality is essential.
Ministry leadership requires you to be trustworthy. Guard what you see, hear, and know. When someone confides in you, treat it as sacred. Confidentiality is rooted in the word confidence. Someone is putting confidence in you. Don’t violate that.
Proverbs 11:13 (NKJV) “A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.”
We live in a time when people are hesitant to open up, especially to leaders. One careless conversation can confirm their worst fears. Don’t be a careless pastor. Don’t be a gossiper. Don’t entertain curiosity. What you know is between you, the person, and God.
Now, there are moments when things must be shared. Abuse, criminal acts, or anything that puts someone in danger must be reported immediately. When you’re unsure, take it to your pastor or elders and ask for wisdom. The principle still applies: keep the information confidential among those who must know.
Luke 12:2–3 (NKJV) “For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore, whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.”
Valuing confidence protects people. Gossip always wounds and plays into the enemy’s hands. Gossip can divide churches and severe relationships. Gossip disqualifies leaders. If you’ve ever seen someone betrayed by a broken confidence, you know the pain that follows. And once a person is hurt by it, it’s hard to win their heart again.
Proverbs 18:19 (NKJV) “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
Pastor, take this seriously. Let your integrity shine through in how you handle private conversations. As you build a reputation for trustworthiness, many will know that you represent the faithfulness of Jesus in your ministry to them.
Confidentiality is an expression of love. So love well, and guard what’s been entrusted to you.
Adapted from the book, Sure and Steady by Pastor Ed Taylor. Chapter 16
